Potty Prizes and Quiet Time Surprises

On and off for the past 4 months we've been trying to potty train Bucky. We had some great initial success with the number two's, but the realist side of me said this was too easy. It turns out, that 2 months into it Bucky could care less whether he used the potty or his diaper. He wasn't opposed to the toilet, but rather indifferent. Pretty normal shenanigans (so I'm told.)

Thus far we've enticed him with a solid portion of chocolate chips, which has lost its initial luster but still holds some value for when he craves them. I then turned to logic and reasoning as Bucky actually has an unnatural amount of each thinking that this would work. "Only babies poop in their diapers. Big boy's poop in the potty." And blatant repetition, "Poop in the potty. Not in the diaper." - x1000. After a month of the logic and reasoning, Bucky could recite ever rule and every reward to using the bathroom. Still his preferred bowel movement sanctuary remained his diaper.

Finally, after discovering his natural #2 rhythm (just after Sesame Street, and during his quiet time), I would hound him relentlessly during the closing credits and just before QT. "Do you want to use the potty?" "No" "Do you have to poop?" "No" "Okay, if you have to go potty let me know/ask for help/come out of your room." "Okay." "Where do you poop?" "In the potty!" "Where do you not poop?" "In my diaper!" Checking on his quiet time 10 minutes later, if often reminded me of what it must have been like walking in to Lazarus's tomb.

There is a part of his mind set that I can't argue with. The idea of being able to relieve yourself wherever and whenever you want does have its allure. However, wiping only one butt instead of two was much more important to me. I needed to come up with something new. Something visual. Some form of bribery.

Potty Prizes:

This program is still in its infancy, but I'm already seeing hopeful results. I went off to FedEx Office with 6 images of things Buckeye loves. In no particular order: Bubbles, Fungooms, Chocolate Chips, Diego et al., Chocolate Milk, and Popsicles. I printed them out in 3x4 color and stuck them with velcro to the opposite wall of the toilet. Each time he deposits a gift or stays there for 8 minutes he's able to collect a potty prize. (After washing his hands) he tears one off with only the joy that a toddler can have over chocolate chips and races to wherever the prize may be. He then cashes in his token and then has 5 more chances through the day. However, if by chance he does fill his diaper, dear PaPa gets to take one away.

We really don't want to get angry or upset with him if he continues to use his diaper as his first choice and don't want anything to seem like a punishment when it comes to potty training. So part of the reason I came up with this idea is that it reminds me of the phrase I always here about driving and driver's licenses. It's a privilege not a right. These prizes are privileges not rights and therefore when one is taken away it shouldn't feel like a punishment. The catch comes that I may not see it as one, but what if Bucky does? I know I said that he's got a high sense of reasoning, but even I struggle with right and privilege. Luckily, he's had a few taken away now and no melt downs. I think we'll be alright.

So three days in and 7 deposits at the potty and 2 in the diaper. So far so good. I'll let you know.

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Quiet time for Bucky happens everyday at 1. Just after lunch. He can choose whether he would like to nap or not. If he does it means some quiet time for Daddy. If he doesn't it means an earlier bed time. We set the timer for 30 minutes and when it goes off some times he is asleep and others he runs out and screams "Timer goes off!"

Usually if he chooses not to sleep he's very good about staying in his bed and reading the books or playing with the couple toys we let him have during that time. Today was much different.

Today, by luck, I had Jack asleep for one of his cat naps and Bucky in for quiet time at the same time. I'm slightly addicted to low tech internet games and decided to sneak a few minutes in. From where I sit at the computer I have a clear shot down the hall to Bucky's door. About 20 minutes in, (10 minutes before the timer is set to go off,) I see blonde flash of light out of the corner of my eye. It is Bucky's head sticking out of his door watching me, waiting for me to notice. He's been a sweet boy all day and I invite him to come sit with me.

My fault here is that I failed to go see what Bucky had been up to during his quiet time. I asked him the obligatory, "Did you poop in your diaper?", but that answer came up negative with a visual check. For this is the reason he usually interrupts his quiet time. I pass it off as he is just not tired.

30 minutes later when I am very proud of him for initiating the Potty Prize plan on his own, I head to his bedroom to grab a new diaper. I enter his room and again I capture a flash of white out of the corner of my eye when not expected. This is the sight I received:

Not only had he taken out all the new diapers of the box I had just opened, but he had also transferred and emptied the used diapers to his bed. (Speaking of Lazarus's tomb.)

How could I be mad? To his credit he did it very quietly.


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Stay-at-Home Dad, stay at home dad, SAHD