Adult for a Minute

I'm not sure what catalysts led to this self revelation, but I'm sure there were a great many things that had happened in the past few weeks, months, or years for such a thought to take place.

Perhaps it was the matching night stands we purchased and assembled for our bedroom after just shy of 5 years of marriage. Their predecessors were well on their way to retirement from the nightstand business. The first, was a four-drawer dresser inherited from Christy's great-grandmother. This, of course, was on Christy's side.  Not a bad piece of furniture at all. We just thought something matching would be better. The dresser, will remain with us and perhaps one day receive the title of "dresser". The second, was a wire framed microwave stand covered with a scrap piece of brown burlap cloth. This, of course, was on my side.  Although hideous, this piece of furniture was not all together bad.  I'll really miss my midnight hot-pocket with the added convenience of never having to have exposed my delicate little toes to the frigid night air.  90 second pepperoni pizza was just an arm's reach away.  The microwave stand will be leaving us.

Perhaps it was the commencement of this blog and more reading in general which has been a recent addition to my daily diet.  Two weeks ago, I finished Ayn Rand's Atlas  Shrugged. 1200 pages of deep philosophy, thinking and polotics. If you ask me if I think it's worth the read, I might raise my shoulders slightly and momentarily to express doubt, ignorance, or indifference. I'm also currently enjoying my first Dickens' novel Oliver Twist. I'm sure I was suppose to have already read Dickens elsewhere in life, but I'm not sure I would have appreciated his wit and poignancy until now.  I'm really enjoying chasing young Oliver around London. There are so many unexpected changes and/or surprises in the plot development. And then there's this blog which is the most extraordinary thing I've ever read.


Perhaps it was taking a stand against a bully for the first time in my life.  Christy had invited a friend over who is by no means a regular at our building.  Upon our guests arrival and hearing the access door open, Christy made a move to greet our guest at the door, but before Christy had the chance to turn the knob our neighbor across the hall houdinied into the foyer and accosted our guest. "From NOW on make SURE you don't park SO CLOSE to the mulberry tree." On my own way to the door I'm thinking "That really could not just have happened."  After our friend escaped the claws of death and made it safely into our unit, I could see the look of pure befuddlement on her face.  After confirming the offense I went door knockin.  This is what I told our welcoming neighbor. "PACHOW!" Sadly, it took 3 prior incidents for me to actually call her on something.

All this to say, as I entered in to Bucky's room last night as he was still falling asleep, he gave me the sweetest Bucky smile with the sweetest Bucky voice that said simply, "Hi Daddy."  This Man at Home can melt occasionally.  Although I wanted to cuddle I knew doing so would lead to another hour of awake time, and I also knew I had to stick to the task at hand. Diaper Duty. So with all the elements of the afore mentioned and the sweetness of this Bucky moment, as I carefully loaded my good night treasures into a grocery bag to be transported to a more permanent home, the thought, feeling, emotion and statement were all upon me for the first time in my life.  "I'm an adult."

For that brief moment, I could sense a vast array of new doors to be explored. Wisdom. Responsibility. Productive. Contributor to Society.  I'd always known about these doors and had been told stories about them and how they actually existed, but it wasn't until now that I got to see them face to face.  And what was more is that in my childhood I had been so afraid to enter these doors, but now that they were tangible the fear was gone and I was now able and confident to take on such pursuits!  And just as  Bucky's and Jack's contributions to the day disappeared into the garbage can, so too did my momentary peek at true adulthood.





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Stay-at-Home Dad, stay at home dad, SAHD

The Womb Room

I  tend to think of Jack, and infants in general, as a Rubik's cube.  It can take hours or, more realistically, months to figure out what makes them tick, but once you know the secret solution you can replicate it more and more easily.  Okay scratch that.  They're more like a intricate 1000 piece puzzle that you work on relentlessly day and night and when you finally assemble it, the puzzle allows you to look at it in accomplishment for a brief moment and then blows up and the picture changes entirely and immediately demands you put it together again. Yeah, that's probably more apt.

The good news today is that we're in that narrow window of looking at Jack with accomplishment.  Jack's idol must be Steven Tyler because thus far in his brief stay with us he hasn't wanted to close his eyes, fall asleep, or miss a thing.  Maybe we shouldn't have sat him in front of that 3 day "Armageddon" marathon on TBS.  Being so, he's recreated an Armageddon type atmosphere in our home.  Really though, it has not been too terrible, or at least nothing less than I expected.  However, in the middle of a screaming baby session, repeating that expectation to myself does not seem to remove my stress and frustration received from a fussy baby. So, the biggest goal on my agenda has been figuring out what gets Jack to sleep and what keeps him sleeping.

Although he slept well as a new born and has always slept pretty well at night, the last 6 weeks, during the day, have been filled with a lot of -ings: rocking, swinging, bouncing, smooshing, nuzzling, spooning, walking, skipping, swaddling, but the elusive sleep-ing has been a rare visitor.

When I discovered the Bouncy Chair Method it seemed to at least calm Jack down and on a rare occasion get him to sleep, if it was correctly performed to his standards.  The standards are as follows: curtains drawn, Jack in the bouncy chair, calming vibrations on, my foot delivering constant but variable speeds of bouncing, and me sitting with in view and focusable distance of Jack. Miss any of these and the game would be up. I soon realized I would not be getting much accomplished. However, this sacrifice would allow for a non fussy baby.   And although this process allowed me to make 19 episodes worth of new best friends in Jack Donaghy and Liz Lemon, we really needed to find something that was a little less restricting. What was most frustrating with the Bouncy Chair Method is that I knew we were close to achieving sleep success, but with the trial of countless variations this near goal seemed very far.  Why couldn't he just use his extensive vocabulary to tell us?

Deep in the Womb Room

Then yesterday we had a break through. We recreated the womb. By chance, or by near daddy meltdown, I moved Jack into Bucky's room in the late afternoon.  Having already established the basic foundations of the Bouncy Chair Method, the other missing elements revealed themselves like the aligning of the stars.  Darkness, Heat, Moisture, Noise and Position.  Bucky had just got up from his nap and being so, I had had the light blocking curtains drawn, which in turn had captured the heat of the sun passing through the south facing window, which helped heat the wet diapers sitting on the counter and humidify the room. (I thought of omitting this last element, but it is crucial to the plot.) Along with the fan, already on, adding white noise, the room was like a rainforest oasis or perhaps, to Jack, the womb. Within seconds of entering the room, my little master was closing his eyes, pawing at his face, and trying to turn strongly to one side. After a little quarter turn help from dad and momma's smooshing blanket idea from behind, Jack fell fast asleep. He remained asleep for over an hour.

So here I sit, feeling wonderful about myself, in this small little window of success that Jack has afforded me.  Perhaps, and probably so, it will all change in a week, but as for today, the Womb Womb Method has been successful twice. The days first visit for nearly 2 hours and the second is ongoing.  With a giant sigh of relief during this momentary respite, I'm digging out the humidifier to take the place of the fermenting diapers.

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Blogging Events:

• Make Bucky breakfast
• Make Daddy coffee
• Assist Bucky for potty time and potty prize
• Make forts/tents with Bucky
• Bucky tries bottle feeding Jack
• Daddy takes over
• Change mid-bottle blowout
• Finish bottle feeding
• Put Jack down for 2nd Womb Room time
• Get Bucky a snack: Pretzels and Milk
• Make play dough apples with Bucky
• Wipe Bucky's nose x23

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Stay-at-Home Dad, stay at home dad, SAHD